You are the best project you'll ever work on

glitter, growth, and the long process of becoming you

Do you remember art class in elementary school? I wore my Dad’s old button-down shirt that came down to my knees as an art smock. I remember the smell of the art room - it was always a distinct mix of glue, paint, clay, and creativity. It sounds weird saying creativity has a smell, but I think it might. I was always so excited to see what projects were in store for us.

For a lot of our art projects, we were shown step-by-step how to create the project. Sometimes we were just able to create. We were never judged in art class. At least not in elementary school. We were encouraged to use color, be messy, and be creative. Glitter and bright colored paints flowed freely. I remember being so excitedly anxious for my pieces to dry so I could take them home to show my parents. Some pieces took weeks to finish, like clay projects, paper mache, or more intricate pieces.

As we got older, art class became optional. In middle school, I started to question if I was “good” at art because I was suddenly being judged and graded on what I created.

By high school, we were supposed to be thinking about college, resumes, and our future.

Year by year - without intentionally realizing it - I was adding more layers of paper mache to the project of my life. Was I creating the project that would reflect my life? Or was I covering up who I was?

I think I was covering up the glitter-using, bright-paint, messy creative girl. And I think I’ve been doing it for years.

Without realizing it - we get on a path we think we should be on. Get good grades, go to a good college, graduate, get a good job and live happily ever after. While there’s nothing wrong with that path, I think I have been slowly becoming a watered-down version of myself to fit the right narratives. I was quiet, professional, and kept adding more paper mache to this version of myself.

Over the past few years, I’ve been pulling back the layers on this life project of myself. Slowly, I’m finding more glitter. More color. More me.

It’s taken me time. It’s taken trial and error. It’s taken going down the wrong paths. Just like any art or creative process - it’s messy. It’s sticky. There’s glitter everywhere. There’s clay in your hair. But if you look past the mess - you find your project. Your life project. It’s beautiful. It’s you. And I guarantee it’s the best thing you’ll ever work on.

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